Have You Heard Of Salad?

First of all, Sparks says thank you for all the fine candy stealing suggestions sent to Sparky's inbox. In the end, Sparky decided to go with the old true-and-tried method. It is called "Knock The Kids Down And Steal The Candy From Their Hands." Sparky waits until just the right moment (it is VERY important the kid has removed the wrapper from the candy) and then pounces. For anyone taking notes, Sparky says this works particularly well with suckers. Grab the stick and retreat to under the dining room table.

While on the subject, Sparky would like to say that Sparky noticed tremendous increase in the presence of "DOTS" in the candy buckets this year. What is this trend? Sparky publically announces "DOTS" to be a waste of candy. They taste like nothing in Sparky's opinion. So Sparky left the ones he stole under the couch. Pfft. Let us never speak of them again.

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Now Sparks asks you, have you ever heard of salad? Sparky's mama had one for dinner tonight from the Hyvee. She got up to fill her wine glass (that mama...I tell you) and Sparky went into action. Sparky just took the whole bowl. Sparky not clear about salad, so Sparky decided not to risk leaving anything behind. Sparky hear that at some mexican restaurants, you can eat the salad bowl. Sparky should look into this for his dog chow dining options.

Now, Sparky admits he wasn't so impressed to start with. Some green stuff, but Sparks likes to eat grass, so now Sparky thinking the Hyvee sells grass? But then Sparky found some cheese and Sparky LOVES cheese. And some peas and some corn and some onion and and and. But Sparky saving all his love for croutons and ranch dressing. Sparky all out of love and so lost with out them...

Sparky going to bed now to dream sweet sweet dreams of the Hidden Valley Ranch and their delicious ranch dressing. Sparks feel good about decision to steal salad. Sparky making healthy decisions after week of candy stealing.

Sparky Has Something To Say...

Sparky wants you to look at this picture and tell Sparky exactly what is missing...

Hmmm...Sparky has his kids, check. Sparky has a costume, check. Sparky looking at camera, check. SPARKY HAS NO CANDY BUCKET. Sparky completely unclear about how anyone can fully enjoy the Halloween eating holiday if someone doesn't give Sparky a candy bucket. And yet, Sparky's mama expected Sparky to walk all over the neighborhood wearing a saddle and a cowboy and NOT collect a crunch bar...not a plain m&m...not a tootsie roll...not Sparky favorite, the sucker...not even a starburst. Hmpf. Sparky's mama done lost her ever loving mind, if you ask Sparky.

Hence, Sparky spent most of the evening doing this:

Also, while Sparky has this platform, Sparky would like to take this opportunity to say Sparky officially disagrees with the the vet office guy. Chocolate is just fine for Sparky. Sparky regularly steals it from the pantry and it all works out just fine. Sparky just sayin. All this leaves Sparky feeling a little wistful.

And out of sorts...

Sparky going to make a candy stealing plan. Sparky suggests you email any and all stealthy candy snagging ideas to Sparky@SparkyStealsCandy.com.